I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
