Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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