I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
