too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
