would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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