Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
