He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
