You can't special order awesome
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
