my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
