Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
