we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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