Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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