I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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