Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
