Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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