the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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