so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
