lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize