I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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