lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
