Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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