All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
