forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
