You can't special order awesome
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
