if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
