he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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