don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
