it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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