Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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