I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
