You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
