I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
