So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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