I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
