would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
