i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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