I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
