Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
