oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
