So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize