weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
