She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
