Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
