I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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