8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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