Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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