Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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