ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
How external is "for external use only"?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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