Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
