What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize