I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You pole danced in your parka.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
