Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize