you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
