I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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