Non-Jews are for practice
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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