Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize