Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
