ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
