Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
