my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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