I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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