Got a toothbrush?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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