Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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