How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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