Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
