i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
