It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize