we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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