sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i came on her dog
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
