Got a toothbrush?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
