Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My feet surprised me
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