I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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