i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
